Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(856): View more from New Jersey

i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.

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(438): View more from Quebec

I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.

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(314): View more from Missouri

96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks

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(585): View more from New York

bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning

(1-585): View more from New York

oh god.. jail?

(585): View more from New York

better, on the catwalk of the auditorium

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(317): View more from Indiana

if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?

(317): View more from Indiana

all hypothetical of course

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(515): View more from Iowa

you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.

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(425): View more from Washington

She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

What happened to you last night?

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

SO. MANY. SHOTS.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.

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