but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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