ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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