I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
