I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize