I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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