I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
