What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
