Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
this is an emotional support booty call
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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