Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize