Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
