Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
