it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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