People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize