Barsexuality is the new black.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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