I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We had to coat check the pizza.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
