He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
