I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize