i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he shaved USA in his pubs
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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