and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
