ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
