some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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