what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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