they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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