My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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