Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
