wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
