its not stalking. its research.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
