Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
