i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
