We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
