so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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