Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
