I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
