i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
