when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
