alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You're like the curious george of whores
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
