Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize