her vagine was all disorganized.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
