so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I think we might need a safe word for this...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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