I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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