No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize