Farmville is her only friend.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize