I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
