Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
