i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
