why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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