The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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