Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
