I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
