Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
