I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
