Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
