so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
