Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
